Kids and Teens ( Modern Day Parent Trap )
Do you know the impact that divorce has on children? Divorce has a
profound effect on our children. We were walking in the mall, my
ex-husband and my son, hand-in-hand. My son was having the time of his
life with both parents holding his hands. He was in the middle and the
world was all great with him. Then all of a sudden, the unthinkable
happened. My son, my adorable son, took my hand and took his father's
hand and pulled our hands together, in hopes that we would hold hands. I
was so amazed, shocked and at the same time very
anti-getting-back-with-my ex-husband. My reaction was so instantaneous,
that I jerked my hand away. I immediately realized what my son was doing
and focused all my attention on him. I grabbed his hand again and told
him how much I loved him. He replied, "Mommy I know, I love you too!" My
son was attempting to get his parents back together, his ideal
situation. From that point on, I prepared myself for my son's attempt
for a parent trap.
It is unfortunate the impact that divorces have on children. Speaking from experience, my parents divorced when I was a child. The absence of my father, not being involved in my life on a daily base, was very impactful. I did think about the day that my parents would be back husband and wife, mother and father in the same household. When my son actually acted on trying to get his parents to unite, I felt a deep regret for placing him in a situation that I could not make happen for him. I love my son and would do anything to make him happy, at least I thought. Reuniting with his father in a romantic way was not ever going to happen. My next order of business was to make certain that he knows that both parents love him more than anything and sometimes adults, parents don't get along and need to be apart. In time, he understood and now cherishes all the moments when we all get together.
One of my favorite movies of all time is the 1998 version of The Parent Trap. What I enjoyed mostly about the movie was that the parents finally got back together at the end of the movie. After plotting, planning and some devious action carried out by the twin sibling, they were able to convince their parents that they were still in love and belonged together. Even though that's in the movies, I've known several couples that married, had children, divorced and eventually got back together. Ashley had married her high school sweetheart Jacob. After eight years of marriage and three children later, they divorced. Living apart and realizing that she still loved Jacob, they eventually got back together. Being parents and both of their involvement in the children lives kept them constantly in touch with each other. It was actually Jacob that initiated the reunion; however, Ashley was hoping that they got back together. In my instance, the best scenario for my son is that both parents live apart but love and support him.
As divorced parents, it is imperative that we focus on the well-being of our children. Even though our children plots and plans for their parents to get back together, communicating to them that they are the most important part of your life will make a tremendous difference and help them deal with the fact, that their parents are not getting back together.
It is unfortunate the impact that divorces have on children. Speaking from experience, my parents divorced when I was a child. The absence of my father, not being involved in my life on a daily base, was very impactful. I did think about the day that my parents would be back husband and wife, mother and father in the same household. When my son actually acted on trying to get his parents to unite, I felt a deep regret for placing him in a situation that I could not make happen for him. I love my son and would do anything to make him happy, at least I thought. Reuniting with his father in a romantic way was not ever going to happen. My next order of business was to make certain that he knows that both parents love him more than anything and sometimes adults, parents don't get along and need to be apart. In time, he understood and now cherishes all the moments when we all get together.
One of my favorite movies of all time is the 1998 version of The Parent Trap. What I enjoyed mostly about the movie was that the parents finally got back together at the end of the movie. After plotting, planning and some devious action carried out by the twin sibling, they were able to convince their parents that they were still in love and belonged together. Even though that's in the movies, I've known several couples that married, had children, divorced and eventually got back together. Ashley had married her high school sweetheart Jacob. After eight years of marriage and three children later, they divorced. Living apart and realizing that she still loved Jacob, they eventually got back together. Being parents and both of their involvement in the children lives kept them constantly in touch with each other. It was actually Jacob that initiated the reunion; however, Ashley was hoping that they got back together. In my instance, the best scenario for my son is that both parents live apart but love and support him.
As divorced parents, it is imperative that we focus on the well-being of our children. Even though our children plots and plans for their parents to get back together, communicating to them that they are the most important part of your life will make a tremendous difference and help them deal with the fact, that their parents are not getting back together.
As divorced parents, how we communicate with our children about
the relationship of both parents is crucial for them to understand the
dynamics of co-parenting.
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thank you