Reality Check On Bullying: How Teens Are Taking Their Own Stand

 Reality Check On Bullying: How Teens Are Taking Their Own Stand

There are moments in life that can test our morals when we see something bad happening. Zero tolerance for bullying has become a national topic of discussion among parent groups and schools in the wake of many teens feeling helpless with being relentless harassed at school and online at home. While there are no shortage of stories in the news about how bullying slips through the cracks, or ends in tragedy, there is a recent story of a teen who took action to help a peer being attacked by a bully, and raises questions for how we teach teens to resolve conflicts.
In a split second Cody Pines, a 17 year old California teen took action to defend Austin Higley, a 16 year old legally blind being physically assaulted by a bully. While on a lunch break bystanders filmed the incident as it was happening and captured Austin student being hit repeatedly in the face and head. Students at the High School later reported that the visually impaired Austin was attacked for no reason after Austin walked past his tormentor, and it was later reported that there was a history of the two not getting along. As quickly as the attack started, it ended in a twist the bully didn't anticipate when he was taken down with one punch by Pines. While lying on the ground bleeding and confused by what just happened, Pines quickly checked to see if Austin was okay, before quickly returning back to the attacker and questioning him angrily and threatening more violence if he continued to bully Austin.
Afterwards the unnamed bully was arrested on suspicion of a misdemeanor battery and released to the custody of his parents. No good deed goes unpunished as Pines learned when he was suspended and kicked off the football team due to the school's 'zero-tolerance' policy on violence. Many students feel this was unjust and feel Pines is a hero for taking action when many simply watched or recorded the bullying. Students started an online petition in support that has received almost 80,000 responses. The online petition made an interesting statement: 'While violence is never the best option what Cody did to defend his friend and classmate was justified.
While this school is standing behind their decision to suspend Pines with the view of "two wrongs don't make a right", many who viewed the incident on YouTube disagree. The footage which has been viewed over 480,000, praise Pines for taking action and sheds light on what many teens strongly believe is a realistic approach to resolving bullying with comments on social media that include:
'I don't care what the policy says. Its self-defense via a bystander. To beat a blind kid and get to play the victim card. Cost another kid his education. That boy is a hero. Treat him like one.'
'Great job! Our future is in good hands because of young men such as yourself.'
'The day you punish people who protect the helpless is the day you've lost humanity... ''
Austin and Pines recently had a chance to reflect on the incident on the Dr. Phil show, which showed Austin hugging and thanking Pines for saving his life. Pines has said that he hopes that everyone hangs out with Austin now and show him love because he deserves it, and he thinks he's a cool kid. A common factor in the different forms of bullying, is a lack of empathy. However, with so many past incidents of bullying resulting in the tragedy of suicide, the need for intervening has never been greater. We encourage children and teens to deal with bullying by walking away, seeking support from peers and adults, and trying to resolve conflicts without it escalating and becoming physical. However, incidents such as this can test the reality of what intervention is needed in a split second when defending another classmate or yourself. There is a call of action needed not just for teens to defend one another against physical violence, but to actually take part in the movement in raising awareness through conversation and making a difference in their community by teens starting anti-bullying programs in their school, and in outside community programs. Nurturing our natural ability of empathy and connection with one another is the heart and soul of stopping bullying.

"When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems." ~Stephen Covey

Joshua Soto, MA is a Marriage and Family Therapist Registered Intern (639) in private practice in Irvine, CA. Josh specializes in working with pre-teens, teens, and young adults who struggle with depression, anxiety, and bullying issues. He is employed and supervised by Dr. Renee Miller, LMFT (43207) at 18023 Sky Park Circle, Suite G, Irvine, CA. Josh is listed on http://www.psychologytoday.com, and accepting new clients. He can be reached at (714) 422-0396

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