Remembering My Father in His Old Age
Loneliness!
It is not being alone.
Being alone is a tangible activity.
Loneliness is an intangible happening.
In the midst of a social get-together, we often feel lonely.
In my home in India, lying on the bed, besides my spouse,
I am not alone, but often lonely.
I think of my 93 years 6 month old father, in LA.
I have grateful memories of our 69 years long association.
I am a bit lonely, as my spouse, my children may not share this part of my life.
But, I am a bit less lonely, as my sister, my brother, and my mother, 89 years old, in LA, share this part of my life.
Hopefully, I will meet and see him again in fair health, after couple of months, when I visit my parents and siblings.
I will experience his embrace, and his firm hand-shake - a matter of pride for him till few years ago.
On Skype me and my old father
Meanwhile, I do meet him and see him, twice a week, on Skype.
He recites selected Sikh religion scriptures, which surprisingly, he remembers perfectly.
Thus he thanks God, and society.
He remembers his parents, and siblings, who were his seniors.
He vividly remembers: names of his school head-master, diploma-college principal, his bosses, and his American colleagues, when he worked in 1950s, at, Bhakra Dam, the first concrete dam of India, then, the highest in the World.
We have fun when I remind him, his favourite limericks.
He giggles, laughs like a baby, and cautions us, not to laugh at others.
To help him, keep up his weakening memory, I request him to recite mathematical tables.
He does an excellent job; he remembers all mathematical tables up to 19.
I thank Skype, Wi-fi, and Gates.
It has been great to be with you - 'dear Daddy-ji' - for 69 years.
These days, I am always scared, in anticipation of a bad-news call from LA.
It may be:
A fall in bathroom leading to a minor fracture, limiting his arthritis-affected mobility further,
Or the news that God has decided to call him back.
I am ready, with my packed trolley, and a suitcase - with two framed photo-collages of his journey through life with our mother, from 22 years till date.
I feel, I am not lonely.
My both younger siblings are supporting me, in my thoughts.
'When often on my couch I lie,
In vacant or in pensive mood,
But, my heart doesn't dance with daffodils.
It dances with grateful, sweet memories of my father.
They flash upon my inward eyes.
Which is the bliss of solitude.'
With profound apologies to William Wordsworth!
It is not being alone.
Being alone is a tangible activity.
Loneliness is an intangible happening.
In the midst of a social get-together, we often feel lonely.
In my home in India, lying on the bed, besides my spouse,
I am not alone, but often lonely.
I think of my 93 years 6 month old father, in LA.
I have grateful memories of our 69 years long association.
I am a bit lonely, as my spouse, my children may not share this part of my life.
But, I am a bit less lonely, as my sister, my brother, and my mother, 89 years old, in LA, share this part of my life.
Hopefully, I will meet and see him again in fair health, after couple of months, when I visit my parents and siblings.
I will experience his embrace, and his firm hand-shake - a matter of pride for him till few years ago.
On Skype me and my old father
Meanwhile, I do meet him and see him, twice a week, on Skype.
He recites selected Sikh religion scriptures, which surprisingly, he remembers perfectly.
Thus he thanks God, and society.
He remembers his parents, and siblings, who were his seniors.
He vividly remembers: names of his school head-master, diploma-college principal, his bosses, and his American colleagues, when he worked in 1950s, at, Bhakra Dam, the first concrete dam of India, then, the highest in the World.
We have fun when I remind him, his favourite limericks.
He giggles, laughs like a baby, and cautions us, not to laugh at others.
To help him, keep up his weakening memory, I request him to recite mathematical tables.
He does an excellent job; he remembers all mathematical tables up to 19.
I thank Skype, Wi-fi, and Gates.
It has been great to be with you - 'dear Daddy-ji' - for 69 years.
These days, I am always scared, in anticipation of a bad-news call from LA.
It may be:
A fall in bathroom leading to a minor fracture, limiting his arthritis-affected mobility further,
Or the news that God has decided to call him back.
I am ready, with my packed trolley, and a suitcase - with two framed photo-collages of his journey through life with our mother, from 22 years till date.
I feel, I am not lonely.
My both younger siblings are supporting me, in my thoughts.
'When often on my couch I lie,
In vacant or in pensive mood,
But, my heart doesn't dance with daffodils.
It dances with grateful, sweet memories of my father.
They flash upon my inward eyes.
Which is the bliss of solitude.'
With profound apologies to William Wordsworth!
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thank you