Kids and Teens ( Strategies for Motivating Teenagers )
Strategies for Motivating Teenagers
There are different phases of growth in an individual's life and
because teenagers are human beings, they are no exceptions to the rule.
During this period of physical development of the body, teenagers are
irritable and unruly and parents find them hard to manage.
At this crucial time of their lives, parents worry about their children's welfare and future prospects. It is okay to be concerned. But being worried does not solve any problems. In the alternative, parents should make an effort to find out how to motivate these teenagers, instead of just hoping that all would be well someday.
To rectify this unhealthy situation, I urge parents to follow these reliable strategies for motivating teenagers.
They include: getting information, learning from counselors and being more understanding. The other factors are; being patient, developing effective communication skills, praying and having faith.
Let's clarify how these strategies could be used by parents to motivate teenagers.
Getting Information
Parents should obtain information of how growth influences behavior, attitude and social interaction. This knowledge would enable them understand why these teenagers behave in the way they do, and help them accept the changes as normal occurrences.
The information gathered would also reveal that parental role during this important growth period, should be to support and guide these teenagers to develop into healthy adults they could be proud of some day.
Also, acquiring relevant information would help parents to understand the nature of pressure teenagers suffer due to growth, and help them to overcome these challenges.
Some of these problems includes: developing facial hair, pimples, consciousness of their looks, awareness of their attraction for the opposite sex, monthly periods for girls and wet dreams for boys, development of muscles for the boys and well formed hips for girls. All these physical and emotional changes are new and unsettling to them.
In addition to rapid physical changes in their bodies, teenagers face other pressures like: tough school work, poor self image, peer pressure, sibling rivalry, fashion and class consciousness and high parental and societal expectations.
All these burdens they carry on their slim shoulders, make them nervous and behave irrationally sometimes to adults. For teenagers to cope with these pressures and succeed, parents must be aware of this precarious situation and be supportive. Otherwise, they would have rebellious teens they cannot manage.
Learning from Counselors
In addition to getting information that would help parents understand the problems their teenage children face, they should also get counsel for managing these teens from psychologists, doctors, teachers, school administrators, pastors and religious leaders.
Another way these parents could learn from counselors is by reading books that teach how to motivate teenagers and imbibe lessons learnt.
The importance of good counsel cannot be underestimated. It is a known fact that without good advice, the relationship between teenagers and their parents would not be easy. To be more factual, there would be arguments, insubordination and tense moments with these teenagers.
For example, if these parents got good counsel, their communication and teen management skills would improve, and enable them speak and treat their teenage children with the dignity and respect they deserve.
This change of attitude by parents would cause a reciprocal change of behavior by these teenagers who would feel loved and obviously be more obedient to their parents.
Being more Understanding
Understanding the enormous pressures the teenager face daily is one of the solutions to insubordination. As a parent, find out the problems your teenage children are facing. Lessen your authoritarian posture to them and genuinely seek to know them.
Build rapport by patiently listening to all the problems they bring up and jointly find the answers. Give them the breathing space they need and stop nagging about their dressing, yet to be completed home work, unkempt hair, scattered rooms and unmade beds. Instead, model what you want them to copy by your actions and speak less in your home.
Listen keenly to know their fears and burdens and be a source of encouragement to them. Relate with their friends so that you would know where they go to, and what they do there. When they fail to live up to your expectations sometimes, do not scold them, just look the other way.
Help teenagers solve problems that they may have with their homework, if they trust you enough to seek your assistance. Though this may hurt, ask yourself this question. Were you like them as a teenager? Be frank with your answer so that you can offer relevant solutions to their predicaments.
Relax. Take the family out on a picnic once in a while and show your children you would always be there whenever they need a listening ear, guidance or a shoulder to lean or cry on.
Play and exercise with them. Go to the cinemas, ball games, school drama and public speaking presentations. Attend their school's prize giving day. Call them on the telephone daily and let them know they could count on you.
Be very clear about your family values, habits and attitudes so that they would try to live up to your expectations. Make them realize that you want what is best for them. Let them know that even when they come short of your expectations, you still love them because you know they did their best and you are proud of them despite the poor outcome.
Don't manipulate them. Ensure you are genuine in all your dealings with them, so as not to give the wrong impression and end up driving them farther away from you.
Being Patient
Be tolerant else you would always fight with them. Recall that you were once a teenager and you probably drove your parents to the wall occasionally. Without patience, you would clash with your teenage children each time you addressed their misdemeanor.
Please understand that they would test your patience most times, but you must learn to control your emotions. You can be firm but don't be too hard on them and in time, your patience would pay off in excellent relationship with them.
Develop Effective Communication Skills
Valuable communication is one of the keys to understanding and motivating your teenage children. To communicate effectively with them, be simple and stoop to their level of intelligence and development.
Understand their problems and jointly work it out. For instance, deal with peer pressure by discussing the causes and the best solutions, with examples from your own life as a teenager.
Talk about low self esteem and reassure them that they were intelligent, good looking and fun to be with. Let them know you love them the way they are. Explain to them that no one would take them serious or believe in them, if they don't take the lead and control their shyness. Tell them a story of how you conquered low self esteem worries as a teenager and assure them they could too.
Explain how you dealt with poor grades at school. You are permitted to exaggerate some parts of the story to teach them vital lessons of life.
Reveal to them that you too, were a shy teenager at some point in your life, but picked up courage to face challenges the world presented. Give an example of where you displayed courage; like how you felt when you spoke to your first girlfriend with wobbly knees, yet did it all the same, and won her heart for trying even when it was obvious you were shaking with fright.
Show them why it pays to have goals and a plan for their future. For example, making goals and having plans would enable them become successful adults capable of making valuable contributions to the society.
Find fun ways to teach them all they ought to know as teenagers, and inspire them to solve problems without giving up on themselves.
Show them that you had experienced what they were passing through, by sharing how you overcame those problems. Remind them that if you were able to overcome those difficulties back then, they could too.
Maintain a joyous atmosphere in your home so that they would desire to come home, love to talk and stay with you because it was educative, exciting and not under compulsion.
Praying and Having Faith
Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or practice some other religion, when you have done all that you can do, and the results are still not very pleasing then go on your knees and pray to your God.
Prayer is a two way thing. First you ask God for something. Next, you listen to hear a feedback from Him, and then you thank Him for giving you what you had asked for in faith.
Use this method to pray for your teenage children and believe that God or nature, would step in to change your unruly teenage children. Believe that your teenage children could become role models for other uncouth teenagers to emulate, as answer to your prayers.
Take Away
Teenagers are human beings just like you and deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Gaining understanding from counseling would enable you manage them with empathy than with harsh words. You would get their full cooperation when you lead by example, than by scolding them.
Relate with them and get to know them better so that you would not only gain their respect, but also the much needed collaboration necessary to change their lives for the better, and keep them motivated while doing it.
At this crucial time of their lives, parents worry about their children's welfare and future prospects. It is okay to be concerned. But being worried does not solve any problems. In the alternative, parents should make an effort to find out how to motivate these teenagers, instead of just hoping that all would be well someday.
To rectify this unhealthy situation, I urge parents to follow these reliable strategies for motivating teenagers.
They include: getting information, learning from counselors and being more understanding. The other factors are; being patient, developing effective communication skills, praying and having faith.
Let's clarify how these strategies could be used by parents to motivate teenagers.
Getting Information
Parents should obtain information of how growth influences behavior, attitude and social interaction. This knowledge would enable them understand why these teenagers behave in the way they do, and help them accept the changes as normal occurrences.
The information gathered would also reveal that parental role during this important growth period, should be to support and guide these teenagers to develop into healthy adults they could be proud of some day.
Also, acquiring relevant information would help parents to understand the nature of pressure teenagers suffer due to growth, and help them to overcome these challenges.
Some of these problems includes: developing facial hair, pimples, consciousness of their looks, awareness of their attraction for the opposite sex, monthly periods for girls and wet dreams for boys, development of muscles for the boys and well formed hips for girls. All these physical and emotional changes are new and unsettling to them.
In addition to rapid physical changes in their bodies, teenagers face other pressures like: tough school work, poor self image, peer pressure, sibling rivalry, fashion and class consciousness and high parental and societal expectations.
All these burdens they carry on their slim shoulders, make them nervous and behave irrationally sometimes to adults. For teenagers to cope with these pressures and succeed, parents must be aware of this precarious situation and be supportive. Otherwise, they would have rebellious teens they cannot manage.
Learning from Counselors
In addition to getting information that would help parents understand the problems their teenage children face, they should also get counsel for managing these teens from psychologists, doctors, teachers, school administrators, pastors and religious leaders.
Another way these parents could learn from counselors is by reading books that teach how to motivate teenagers and imbibe lessons learnt.
The importance of good counsel cannot be underestimated. It is a known fact that without good advice, the relationship between teenagers and their parents would not be easy. To be more factual, there would be arguments, insubordination and tense moments with these teenagers.
For example, if these parents got good counsel, their communication and teen management skills would improve, and enable them speak and treat their teenage children with the dignity and respect they deserve.
This change of attitude by parents would cause a reciprocal change of behavior by these teenagers who would feel loved and obviously be more obedient to their parents.
Being more Understanding
Understanding the enormous pressures the teenager face daily is one of the solutions to insubordination. As a parent, find out the problems your teenage children are facing. Lessen your authoritarian posture to them and genuinely seek to know them.
Build rapport by patiently listening to all the problems they bring up and jointly find the answers. Give them the breathing space they need and stop nagging about their dressing, yet to be completed home work, unkempt hair, scattered rooms and unmade beds. Instead, model what you want them to copy by your actions and speak less in your home.
Listen keenly to know their fears and burdens and be a source of encouragement to them. Relate with their friends so that you would know where they go to, and what they do there. When they fail to live up to your expectations sometimes, do not scold them, just look the other way.
Help teenagers solve problems that they may have with their homework, if they trust you enough to seek your assistance. Though this may hurt, ask yourself this question. Were you like them as a teenager? Be frank with your answer so that you can offer relevant solutions to their predicaments.
Relax. Take the family out on a picnic once in a while and show your children you would always be there whenever they need a listening ear, guidance or a shoulder to lean or cry on.
Play and exercise with them. Go to the cinemas, ball games, school drama and public speaking presentations. Attend their school's prize giving day. Call them on the telephone daily and let them know they could count on you.
Be very clear about your family values, habits and attitudes so that they would try to live up to your expectations. Make them realize that you want what is best for them. Let them know that even when they come short of your expectations, you still love them because you know they did their best and you are proud of them despite the poor outcome.
Don't manipulate them. Ensure you are genuine in all your dealings with them, so as not to give the wrong impression and end up driving them farther away from you.
Being Patient
Be tolerant else you would always fight with them. Recall that you were once a teenager and you probably drove your parents to the wall occasionally. Without patience, you would clash with your teenage children each time you addressed their misdemeanor.
Please understand that they would test your patience most times, but you must learn to control your emotions. You can be firm but don't be too hard on them and in time, your patience would pay off in excellent relationship with them.
Develop Effective Communication Skills
Valuable communication is one of the keys to understanding and motivating your teenage children. To communicate effectively with them, be simple and stoop to their level of intelligence and development.
Understand their problems and jointly work it out. For instance, deal with peer pressure by discussing the causes and the best solutions, with examples from your own life as a teenager.
Talk about low self esteem and reassure them that they were intelligent, good looking and fun to be with. Let them know you love them the way they are. Explain to them that no one would take them serious or believe in them, if they don't take the lead and control their shyness. Tell them a story of how you conquered low self esteem worries as a teenager and assure them they could too.
Explain how you dealt with poor grades at school. You are permitted to exaggerate some parts of the story to teach them vital lessons of life.
Reveal to them that you too, were a shy teenager at some point in your life, but picked up courage to face challenges the world presented. Give an example of where you displayed courage; like how you felt when you spoke to your first girlfriend with wobbly knees, yet did it all the same, and won her heart for trying even when it was obvious you were shaking with fright.
Show them why it pays to have goals and a plan for their future. For example, making goals and having plans would enable them become successful adults capable of making valuable contributions to the society.
Find fun ways to teach them all they ought to know as teenagers, and inspire them to solve problems without giving up on themselves.
Show them that you had experienced what they were passing through, by sharing how you overcame those problems. Remind them that if you were able to overcome those difficulties back then, they could too.
Maintain a joyous atmosphere in your home so that they would desire to come home, love to talk and stay with you because it was educative, exciting and not under compulsion.
Praying and Having Faith
Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or practice some other religion, when you have done all that you can do, and the results are still not very pleasing then go on your knees and pray to your God.
Prayer is a two way thing. First you ask God for something. Next, you listen to hear a feedback from Him, and then you thank Him for giving you what you had asked for in faith.
Use this method to pray for your teenage children and believe that God or nature, would step in to change your unruly teenage children. Believe that your teenage children could become role models for other uncouth teenagers to emulate, as answer to your prayers.
Take Away
Teenagers are human beings just like you and deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Gaining understanding from counseling would enable you manage them with empathy than with harsh words. You would get their full cooperation when you lead by example, than by scolding them.
Relate with them and get to know them better so that you would not only gain their respect, but also the much needed collaboration necessary to change their lives for the better, and keep them motivated while doing it.
I hope to make you stronger and better prepared to face life
daily in a positive and rewarding manner by motivating you to pursue and
achieve your daily goals with ease. To get more information from me
please visit my website....
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