Is Bullying Worse Now Than When We Were Kids?
The simple answer is "Yes"!
How is it worse? When I was kid, all you had to do was avoid that one student or one group of students and you'd be fine. You could operate under the radar.
But nowadays it's an entirely different situation. Kids are bullying other kids on a regular basis. Even the "good students' are doing the bullying and don't even know it. Nowadays it come from many different places and many different angles.
But why the change? Why is it so prevalent now? Is it that we hear about it in the news every day? Is it that kids are born meaner than when we were young?
Well, here are just a few of the reasons that I've seen that challenge our youth in a way that we couldn't have imagined. Some are tough to hear, but that doesn't make them any less true.
When we were young... Most of us lived in a two parent household. We were raised with discipline and role models from both our Moms and/or our Dads. In fact, I was one of only two people that I knew that had divorced parents. We were expected to behave with decorum and civility.
Nowadays... With the divorce rate way over 50%, many single Mothers and Fathers are raising our youth. They work hard to put food on the table and by the time they get home, there's no time left to teach compassion. In the wealthy areas some parents aren't raising their children at all. Some children are left to their nannies or with their iPads and don't learn social skills at all.
When we were young... There was no reality T.V. We understood that when Bugs Bunny hit Elmer Fudd with a wooden mallet that it was just silly and funny. Just cartoon fodder for kids.
Nowadays... There is "reality T.V." You and I know that every scenario is hashed and rehashed to get maximum effect on the audience. Only the sensational parts of each "reality" are shown. Men degrading women. People throwing fits. Arguments fueled by anger. All of these traits are portrayed as "normal" and "reality". And no, I'm no completely blind to the fact that these things do happen. It's just that on reality T.V., these are the ONLY things that happen. If they showed two people simply talking or taking a walk, it would be boring.
When we were young... We had role models that worked for their accomplishments. Michael Jordan, Neil Armstrong, Muhammad Ali, Billy Jean King. They were celebrated for their morals as well as their accomplishments.
Nowadays... Role models are very different. For a while we had (and still have) a rash of reality stars becoming role models. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Amarosa. Did they become role models because of their morals? Of course not. They became famous because of their LACK of morals. The first two mentioned became famous because of sex tapes and the third because of her "bad girl" persona on The Apprentice. Rappers are celebrated because of their "thug life". Even athletes nowadays are celebrated because of their mean attitudes. Wife beating and rape has been in the news repeatedly by NFL and NBA players. Can we expect our children to sift through all of this and find role models with good morals and strong work ethic?
When we were young... Our parents told us to go outside after school and play with our friends and "don't come home until the street lights were on". Sure we got into little skirmishes, but we learned to resolve conflict face to face.
Nowadays... Children play outside with each other less and less. They're learning to resolve differences by emulating what they see and hear in the media. Mom and Dad aren't around as much to teach conflict resolution. There's very little face to face "working out of problems". Kids have no outlet for the frustrations of day to day life.
When we were young... There was no internet. Taunting was done face to face. Even gossip only travelled to a few people before it was distorted or totally lost. Looking into someone's eyes has a tendency to regulate bullying.
Nowadays... We have the internet. With cell phones, Facebook, Instagram and a host of others, children can hassle and harass others behind the veil of the internet. They can sit in front of their screen and make mean comments without repercussions. On Askfm.com they even do it anonymously. This makes it even easier. Some children are growing thicker skin and becoming cold and callas and accustomed to it. While others are just as sensitive to a text or posting as they are a slap in the face.
As you can see, society has changed dramatically since we were young. It's a completely different world than it was just a few years ago.
So what can we do about it?
That's a very big question. The easy and simple solution is this... Parenting. Be a parent.
Expect decorum and civility in your children.
Take quality time out of your day to discipline and raise your children to the best of your ability.
Become a role model for your children. Treat others with compassion. Guide your kids to look up to people that have good values and morals.
Play OUTSIDE with your children. Make sure they learn the importance of mixing it up with their friends. Resolving conflict. Having lots of face-to-face time.
Help them to enjoy life outside of the cell phone and computer. Take them to museums, arboretums, the beach, anything you can think of to get their noses out of technology.
If we can take a little time out of every day to do just a few of the things listed above, our children will become more well rounded, treat others with more compassion and live a healthier and more productive life.
I appreciate your comments.
How is it worse? When I was kid, all you had to do was avoid that one student or one group of students and you'd be fine. You could operate under the radar.
But nowadays it's an entirely different situation. Kids are bullying other kids on a regular basis. Even the "good students' are doing the bullying and don't even know it. Nowadays it come from many different places and many different angles.
But why the change? Why is it so prevalent now? Is it that we hear about it in the news every day? Is it that kids are born meaner than when we were young?
Well, here are just a few of the reasons that I've seen that challenge our youth in a way that we couldn't have imagined. Some are tough to hear, but that doesn't make them any less true.
When we were young... Most of us lived in a two parent household. We were raised with discipline and role models from both our Moms and/or our Dads. In fact, I was one of only two people that I knew that had divorced parents. We were expected to behave with decorum and civility.
Nowadays... With the divorce rate way over 50%, many single Mothers and Fathers are raising our youth. They work hard to put food on the table and by the time they get home, there's no time left to teach compassion. In the wealthy areas some parents aren't raising their children at all. Some children are left to their nannies or with their iPads and don't learn social skills at all.
When we were young... There was no reality T.V. We understood that when Bugs Bunny hit Elmer Fudd with a wooden mallet that it was just silly and funny. Just cartoon fodder for kids.
Nowadays... There is "reality T.V." You and I know that every scenario is hashed and rehashed to get maximum effect on the audience. Only the sensational parts of each "reality" are shown. Men degrading women. People throwing fits. Arguments fueled by anger. All of these traits are portrayed as "normal" and "reality". And no, I'm no completely blind to the fact that these things do happen. It's just that on reality T.V., these are the ONLY things that happen. If they showed two people simply talking or taking a walk, it would be boring.
When we were young... We had role models that worked for their accomplishments. Michael Jordan, Neil Armstrong, Muhammad Ali, Billy Jean King. They were celebrated for their morals as well as their accomplishments.
Nowadays... Role models are very different. For a while we had (and still have) a rash of reality stars becoming role models. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Amarosa. Did they become role models because of their morals? Of course not. They became famous because of their LACK of morals. The first two mentioned became famous because of sex tapes and the third because of her "bad girl" persona on The Apprentice. Rappers are celebrated because of their "thug life". Even athletes nowadays are celebrated because of their mean attitudes. Wife beating and rape has been in the news repeatedly by NFL and NBA players. Can we expect our children to sift through all of this and find role models with good morals and strong work ethic?
When we were young... Our parents told us to go outside after school and play with our friends and "don't come home until the street lights were on". Sure we got into little skirmishes, but we learned to resolve conflict face to face.
Nowadays... Children play outside with each other less and less. They're learning to resolve differences by emulating what they see and hear in the media. Mom and Dad aren't around as much to teach conflict resolution. There's very little face to face "working out of problems". Kids have no outlet for the frustrations of day to day life.
When we were young... There was no internet. Taunting was done face to face. Even gossip only travelled to a few people before it was distorted or totally lost. Looking into someone's eyes has a tendency to regulate bullying.
Nowadays... We have the internet. With cell phones, Facebook, Instagram and a host of others, children can hassle and harass others behind the veil of the internet. They can sit in front of their screen and make mean comments without repercussions. On Askfm.com they even do it anonymously. This makes it even easier. Some children are growing thicker skin and becoming cold and callas and accustomed to it. While others are just as sensitive to a text or posting as they are a slap in the face.
As you can see, society has changed dramatically since we were young. It's a completely different world than it was just a few years ago.
So what can we do about it?
That's a very big question. The easy and simple solution is this... Parenting. Be a parent.
Expect decorum and civility in your children.
Take quality time out of your day to discipline and raise your children to the best of your ability.
Become a role model for your children. Treat others with compassion. Guide your kids to look up to people that have good values and morals.
Play OUTSIDE with your children. Make sure they learn the importance of mixing it up with their friends. Resolving conflict. Having lots of face-to-face time.
Help them to enjoy life outside of the cell phone and computer. Take them to museums, arboretums, the beach, anything you can think of to get their noses out of technology.
If we can take a little time out of every day to do just a few of the things listed above, our children will become more well rounded, treat others with more compassion and live a healthier and more productive life.
I appreciate your comments.
John Abrams
http://www.CaliforniaBullyAssemblies.com
Southern California's Top School Assembly Performer
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http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_J_Abrams
http://www.CaliforniaBullyAssemblies.com
Southern California's Top School Assembly Performer
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